I think there are a few Artists who can say it best. For example:
“Not a day goes by that I don't think of you. After all this time, you’re still with me it’s true.” (Lonestar - “Not A Day Goes By”)
And at the same time, another artist reminds us that we have to remember something…
“Every plan I make, every road I take, I still see you riding along. Then suddenly it hits me. Oh yeah, you’re gone” (Brad Paisley - “Oh Yeah, You’re Gone.)
Makes me wonder what happened to “Forever & Always,” (Taylor Swift). Makes me wonder if there will be a next time I will see you, which is something you promised me the last time I saw you with tears in my eyes, as I told you I would do whatever it would take to fix this. Why? Because I Love You. And I still do. Probably always will, and every once in a while I begin to wonder if i’ll ever be able to do that again the way I used to.
I can’t help but wonder…that’s human nature I guess. Sometimes it is bad for me, I know that. I shouldn’t dwell on the past. But some days, certain things happen that make you wonder and do a double take. A river full of life is now down to nothing but a trickle, at best, with a few ripples in it, and I don’t like that, at all. Unfortunately, it’s not something I can change on my own, and I don’t like that even more. It kills me. But it takes two as they say, and two truly is better than one. Maybe someday i’ll know that again. I miss it deeply. I don’t dwell on it all the time, but again, sometimes, certain things happen that just make you wonder. Certain things happen that bring back all the memories, and I mean all of them. Ones that only you and I would only ever find significance in. That’s the beauty of Love. It doesn’t have to make sense to anyone but the two involved. Sometimes It usually doesn’t to a single person around you, and other times it does. And when it does, it’s only one or two people, and they’ve all been there before, in there own quirky way. And they, too, remember those moments that would only ever have meaning to them and one other person.
I’m not sure why im writing this. You may not ever see it, just like you may never hear that song i wrote for you. I guess im writing it in the hopes that you do see it, and realize what is missing from my life. You. Plain and simple. In the end, I just dont want to be that guy, 20…30…40 years from now who is married and thinks back thinking,
I was happier then…why can’t I be as happy now?
I don’t ever want that, and I want to take a chance, want to experience the old again. I know one thing, for sure. I’ve been single for a long time now, and have had many opportunities to become taken. And you know, when I think back, B Von was right.
It’s not that God doesn’t want you to have someone BeeJ, it’s just that he knows you aren’t ready yet, and haven’t met the right person. Maybe you really are supposed to wait for her to come back.
As much as I didn’t believe that then…I do no, whole heartedly. And i’ve waited, and I am ready. I’ve learned, and im ready to apply. Ready to treat you the way you know you should be treated, and ready to really smile again, instead of this face that I put on everyday that says im happy. I want to be really happy again, knowing that someone you are always there for me; to talk, listen and make me laugh. To let me take care of, spoil, tickle, stare at…
I miss it all, and im more than ready to come back. And yet im afraid to say anything to be, for fear that i’ll screw up something. That’s just how much you mean to me; I don’t wanna screw a single thing up. At all…I’m over thinking it again, I know.
I just hope you see this somehow…Whether you read it or it just comes to you from God himself, it doesn’t matter to me, I just want you to know how I feel. And i’d give anything in the world for a response. I really would. Whether it’s the good or bad, I need to hear it. Because I Love You, and I always will, just like I promised you. Forever & Always.
To the reader, I don’t expect you to understand this, or comprehend even. Maybe you enjoyed reading it, and I assure you if not, there will be more that you will like. But in the end, this is for one person, and one person only. Maybe you’ll understand it someday, the amount of emotion that was out into it. The feeling to not hold anything back, sometimes it comes out. And it’s not a bad thing. I just needed to see myself say this I guess, and hope that she is contacted in some way, and in some way sees this, and realizes what I hope she will realize.
