I don’t know why I choose to torment myself so much. Running, swimming, biking, relationships…It’s all so much at times, and yet I cant just stop….
The cell phone vibrates…I know who it is…
It sometimes feels like I'm meant to do nothing but that. The only escape I have from relationships is working out, and the only escape i have from working out is relationships, or worrying about them (That sounds retarded i know, but it seems true). I worry about you, a lot. Probably more than I should. What have I been wondering?
Texts…they can make you sweat and shake, ya know?
A lot of different things. I don’t want to write them though, someday you’ll hear them. Someday soon I hope.
I can’t even text…
And when I'm not worrying about that, I'm worrying about running and training. I have such high expectations for myself this year. I quit Jazz Band, something i have done since 6th grade, in order to focus more on training (That wasn’t the only reason, the director isn’t on my good side). I want to excel this year so much, and I need to train so hard. And i am, this triathlon training, it makes the mind strong and resilient. Makes it possible to see everything else in the world as easy. I’m not lying or exaggerating, I'm dead serious. But the only thing it doesn’t make easier is…is you.
Running…swimming…biking. I love it all. Sometimes too much. But the down side is that as much as I like the thinking that it allows me to do, the time it gives me to clear my mind, sometimes its not good for me. Sometimes I over think, or think too much. Problem is that I don’t know what to think sometimes.
After that text maybe I do. Maybe…
Final Thoughts:
- To Love and Be Loved, Sam Keen, is a great book.
- The University of Texas needs to get back to me sooner.
- Maybe?
- New Years Resolution: Be the best at everything I possibly can be.
