Texting Can Be Difficult

I don’t know why I choose to torment myself so much. Running, swimming, biking, relationships…It’s all so much at times, and yet I cant just stop….

The cell phone vibrates…I know who it is…

It sometimes feels like I'm meant to do nothing but that. The only escape I have from relationships is working out, and the only escape i have from working out is relationships, or worrying about them (That sounds retarded i know, but it seems true). I worry about you, a lot. Probably more than I should. What have I been wondering?

Texts…they can make you sweat and shake, ya know?

A lot of different things. I don’t want to write them though, someday you’ll hear them. Someday soon I hope.

I can’t even text…

And when I'm not worrying about that, I'm worrying about running and training. I have such high expectations for myself this year. I quit Jazz Band, something i have done since 6th grade, in order to focus more on training (That wasn’t the only reason, the director isn’t on my good side). I want to excel this year so much, and I need to train so hard. And i am, this triathlon training, it makes the mind strong and resilient. Makes it possible to see everything else in the world as easy. I’m not lying or exaggerating, I'm dead serious. But the only thing it doesn’t make easier is…is you.

Running…swimming…biking. I love it all. Sometimes too much. But the down side is that as much as I like the thinking that it allows me to do, the time it gives me to clear my mind, sometimes its not good for me. Sometimes I over think, or think too much. Problem is that I don’t know what to think sometimes.

After that text maybe I do. Maybe…

Final Thoughts:

• To Love and Be Loved, Sam Keen, is a great book.
• The University of Texas needs to get back to me sooner.
• Maybe?
• New Years Resolution: Be the best at everything I possibly can be.

Happy New Year, and may it be filled with Love, Wealth and Happiness.

Taking It In Stride…Big Strides

  There are some days that just make you look back upon the day and be thankful for such great friends and times. Ran in the snow today with Marissa down Blair Road in Perry. Great and exhausting run in 20 degree weather in the wind and what not. Almost got hit by 2 Snow plows. Learned that my spit will freeze in seconds. Pretty cool. Very fun =]] Cant wait for the run this weekend, and definitely cant wait to do that run again, even if my face did freeze.

But its days like this that make you wonder what if? What if it would work? I’m not sure what would happen, but im ever so curious. I mean, best friends can make the best relationships. Right?

Maybe im crazy…

Maybe im not…who knows. All i know is that today i figured out how much i care when someoneeeee rolled their ankle and i didnt like the idea, at all, of someoneeeeee running back 3 miles on it and wanted to carry them. Felt so bad afterwards, you dont even know, it was bad lol.

It’s better to have tried and failed then not tried at all, right?

I dont know, its been a crazy week so far, finished my research paper though, so that was a plus, just gotta get my last draft back and fix some of those last few corrections. Im excited, 16 pages of glory, and im so happy its done.

Just cant get you outta my mind, its killing me!

Someone told me i might be over thinking this, but i dont think i am, at least i hope im not. I just want something new and great, that i know inside me will be amazing =] That’s all. But maybe it is too much. I just wish i knew the answer.

 

I guess we all just have to take it one stride at a time and hope for the best, just like running, one step at a time. Can’t predict the future, so may as well stop worrying about it. All you can do is focus on the present and hope for the best. Well, im hoping for the best right now, and hoping it all comes together.

 

Current Music Favorite:

Jay-Z

Kid Cudi

Brad Paisley

Drake

Lil’ Wayne

Brian McKnight

Hope everyone's having a great holiday season! I’m sure ill be on soon, i went far to long without writing, but Happy Holiday anyways!!

 

Humbly Yours,

BJ Nelson

Time…there isn’t enough of it.

Although today was my first time running in about 5 weeks, (7:49 average mile for 4 miles =] ) it seems like just when i was enjoying having some time to myself, its back to real life. Everything is starting back up, Triathlon training, jazz band, Student Council is getting busy, and somewhere in-between I have to find time to work as well.

(I hate changing garbage can bags by the way…)

Lets see, Mondays, I have training (Running) then homework till who knows when. Tuesdays; running and then swimming, so ill be getting home late…Wednesdays are another late night; I have meetings on these days, and then I have training (running) and then straight to jazz band. Thursdays are a repeat of Tuesdays, and Fridays are a repeat of Mondays. Saturday and Sunday, i have to run and bike. Busy busy busy.

 

I guess I like being busy though. Keeps me occupied and focused. Although it does make it hard to enjoy the little things sometimes. I guess I miss the little things, although I haven’t had anyone to enjoy the little things with in quite a while (On another note; Friend Zone…yeah, it sucks). I’m still looking, but i’m not looking to hard, im gonna go for the “come to me” approach i guess from now on. I’m just so busy, its hard to keep looking, but ill find her in due time right? … Right?

Lets hope so…

 

Currently reading Moby Dick for Stavar’s class, lets hope its not so bad…

 

“Victory is sweetest when you’ve known defeat”

- Malcolm S. Forbes

I wanna make it to districts (at least) in the 2 Mile this year….I want it bad, and im workin my butt off to get there.

 

 

Humbly Yours,

BJ Nelson

 

Training For A Triath—… Life

Every turn in the right direction seems to lead to one that’s the wrong direction, and its not even remotely entertaining anymore. I just cant take it, its so frustrating. I get sick and diagnosed with mono, then get better from the sick, not the mono though, and then two days later im sick again. And then once more, which brings us to the present. So currently, i’ve been sick three different times in about a three week span, and have had mono since about June. Wonderful…

On top of that, I have people in my life who don’t seem to care anymore. Or, rather, one who cares and is trying to change for the better (I thank you)m and one who doesn’t seem to care. I honestly never though i’d see this happen, but it’s killing me inside see it, and I don’t know what to do, yet at the same time I know I can’t do anything to help the situation…I hate not being able to help. I guess ill have to hope that somehow they see this and figure it out. Let’s hope it get better…soon.

 

“Time heals all”

 

Although i’m sick, I cant help but be excited for this indoor triathlon i found out about (http://osutriathlon.com/indoorTri.html). It sounds like a ton of fun, and I really hope i can find some people to do it with me. But, i need to get better first, and i plan to.

 

 

Humbly Yours,

BJ Nelson

 

Mono stands for…

I’m home alone right now, and I feel the need to write about whatever pops into my mind. The first thing…

This mono sucks big time. Not only do i feel lazy as all hell because I have to come home right after school and am not allowed to workout for 3 weeks. Wonderful…It sucks though because its my release and I cant do it. =/ More then that though, im still disappointed about my season overall, but that’s for another day. I guess this just means ill have plenty of time to do some homework and reading that i need to catch up on. Why does life have to suck like this? I dont know either, but all i do know is that Kenny G is amazing, which i am watching a concert of on tv.

Still unsure of a few things right now. I guess i dont know what i want, but im sure that will come in time. All i do know is that an answer has to come at some point, and im eagerly awaiting that answer. While i wait for it though, im finding it quite enjoyable to write my research paper everyday. Its fun to write about why Love is much more than an emotion. Maybe im weird for thinking that, but hey its what i like so oh well. =]

 

Humbly Yours,

BJ Nelson

Reflections On a Rippled Past

Well, i havent been able to write at all lately because i have been so busy! And of course ive been meaning to write for a while now, so lets do some reflecting on the past month or so.

So since i last wrote, a lot has happened and/or changed. I turned 18  =] And that was exciting..kinda. Nothing much happened, but i did get a really nice laptop, so that was nice. My running has been going pretty well. I wanted to say this for a while now, but again i havent been able to take time to write, but i just feel like something has finally clicked and im finally finding what’s inside me. this weekend is the last meet, and i guess its all gonna be put on the line this week so that i can really see what is there. Hmm..what else. Homecoming was cool. It was…different, i guess. I enjoyed it though. Oh, yeah, apparently i’ve had mono since like, June. Yeah, for a while now i was suspecting that, but hey what can you do right? Just keep moving on. So now im sick and have mono…its been a wonderful week lol.

Other then the mono, things in my life just seem to be lining up again, finally. Im not sure why, but everything kinda seems to be going in the right direction. I dont want to jynx it, so i wont linger on the subject, but it feels nice to have things going…decently well for a change. Lets just hope it continues this way yeah? I just hope it continues…because i enjoy it. And with XC ending, its gonna suck =/ I love this sport, and i dont want it to end at all. Thats why im determined to finish this week off, my last week, even if i am sick. I told Sarv, Coach, “I dont care if it kills me. At least ill die happy. I’d have to be physically unable to get out of bed to keep me away from that race.”

Lets hope for a good race…

“ And the strength of the wolf is the pack.”

You know, all these college applications and information meeting and stuff are making me anxious…Not to leave, but to just get it all done. It’s stressful…Oh well, no matter how stressful things may get at times, i always find time to run and write, and it always seems to make me feel better, so ill just stick to that. It seems to work. Before i go though, wanted to share this video, or rather this singer. He is an amazing singer, and i just thought i’d share it with everyone for their…viewing pleasure.

 

Humbly Yours,

BJ Nelson

Time

Time seems to be going by so fast. Too fast at times, and Ive been so busy that i haven't written in about a month. It's just crazy!!! But hey, that's my life right? And at the same time, I like the craziness. I'm not really sure why, but i feel better when im moving all the time and doing stuff. As much as it wears me down and drains me, I like it.

So im still on the hunt for a homecoming date...not going so well lol. But hey, that's life, and ya gotta take it one step at a time right? Kinda like cross country...but lets not talk about that...actually, lets.

This past weekend i realized that i think far to much when I race. I just need to go out there and do it! It's stupid, but I think its the one thing holding me back. I want to get better then i was pre-injury. And it took Sarvis to tell me that he is gonna take my brain out to get it through to me. Well, no more thinking, just writing.


So thats my life in short. Lately i've had maybe an hour to myself a day, and by "myself" i mean do homework and stuff. And im getting very exhausted...Keep fingers crossed i dont get mono. Lets hope i can keep up with it all.





Humbly Yours,
BJ Nelson
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